Just Joking

Shows how bad it can be. Not for the faint hearted

http://www.break.com/index/epic-parkour-jump-off-roof-fail-1981829 My eldest does this, he`ll end up like me with lots of broken bones if he does it like this. Perhaps my youngest wanting to join the army is safer

bit of a fan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUdaPNXC_68

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screame…

i've no idea how true this is, just an email that was sent on -: This is from a sergeant returning from Afghanistan, and TSA stands for The Transportation Security Administration Is there ANYONE at TSA with a brain? As the Chalk Leader for my flight home from Afghanistan, I witnessed the following: When we were on our way back from Afghanistan, we flew out of Baghram Air Field. We went through customs at BAF, full body scanners (no groping), had all of our bags searched, the whole nine yards. Our first stop was Shannon, Ireland to refuel. After that, we had to stop at Indianapolis, Indiana to drop off about 100 folks from the Indiana National Guard. That's where…

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooosh! Plop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of joy. The father, shock…

On the 1st day of christmas my truelove gave to me a pelco in a pear tree on the second day of chrismas my truelove gave to me 2 safe limpets and a pelco in a pear tree on the 3rd day of christmas my truelove gave to me 3 marker pens 2 safe limpets and a pelco in a pear tree on the 4th day of christmas my truelove gave to me 4 pet quads 3 marker pens 2 safe limpets and a pelco in a pear tree in the 5th day of christmas my truelove gave to me 5 c mount rings 4 pet quads 3 marker pens 2 safe limpets and a pelco in a pear tree on the 6th day of christmas my truelove gave to me 6 burglars burgling 5 c mount rings 4 pet quads 3 marker pens 2 safe lim…

Christmas Cake Recipe Ingredients: * 2 cups flour * 1 lb butter * 1 cup of water * 1 tsp baking soda * 1 cup of sugar * 1 tsp salt * 1 cup of brown sugar * Lemon juice * 4 large eggs * Nuts * 2 bottles of wine * 2 cups of dried fruit Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and a…

other stuff on youtube

Resumé of Vicky Pollard ADDRESS: Dur – I live with my mum – init! TELEPHONE: Yeah right, I aint givin' you my number! EMAIL: yeh_but_no_but_yeh_but@hotmail.com ACADEMIC QUALIFICATIONS Yeah but, no but, yeah but, what it was right, I sat next to Kelly Smith and she totally copied off me cos I told everyone about her wanking off Kevin smith outside McDonalds but Mrs Dodson like TOTALLY busted ME for it and said I was cheating and OH MY GOD I so cant believe she did that cos anyway everyone knows she’s a lezzer. EXPERIENCE 1996 Pregnant 1997 Pregnant again 1998 Pregnant again 1999 Pregnant again 2000 South London young offende…

A woman with a clipboard walked up to me and said "Would I like an orphaned third world child for xmas" I replied "Well I normally have Turkey, but i`ll try anything once" .

On Thursday, 24th January 2002, Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio. In March 1999 a man living in Kandos(near Mudgee in NSW, Australia ) received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another bill and threw that one away too. The following month the gas company sent him a very nasty note stating that they were going to cancel his gas line if he didn't send them $0.00 by return mail. He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error and they would take care of it. The following month he decided that it was about time that he tri…

Just read this on another board Made me smile