My funniest one was one I didnt get.

A well to do customer of mine for the last 20 odd years called me into his study after my maintenance visit, (they always get it done just before they go to Madeira for Christmas). I see a bottle of finest scotch whisky on the desk as he said, Do you like whisky? well I dont, but hey ho wasnt going to miss this opportunity to get my first christmas off the tight git! Yes I do says me, to which he replied So do i and as soon as you go Im going to crack open this fine malt and have a couple of drams. Ever felt like youve been led up the garden path.!!

people are strange,

Don`t be a prat and tell me it is wrong to say "Happy Christmas" because some may not celebrate it.

It is not "Happy Holiday", IT IS HAPPY CHRISTMAS.

If you don`t like it.

There are many ports and airports to use.

A school near me have not sent the children to a pantomime this year due to 12complaints from parents about last years adult innuendo. ALL 12 were Asian. Seems the country is a changing

A school near me have not sent the children to a pantomime this year due to 12complaints from parents about last years adult innuendo. ALL 12 were Asian. Seems the country is a changing

Was it compulsory attendance?

TBF it was Ali Baba and the 40 suicide bombers.

Mary and a donkey.

A graphic demonstration of a not so immaculate conception?

Lol

Shame for the kids though

it's not often i get a tip because i don't get too involved in full installs but a customer gave me and my engineer a £50 tip each today!  happy days.