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Funeral Parlours


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Iv just read this thread and cheers guys as iv got a funeral parlour to do. :hmm:

lee

:hmm: lee, well thats a 'spooky' coincidence - watch out for the bogey man, while trying to stay within the spirit of things. :rolleyes:

:P

regs

alan

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

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  • 7 months later...

I fitted out a funeral home a few years ago; trouble is, because of all the relatives visiting their departed,we had to work night shift. My mate was very nervous and the owner crept up behind him and shouted at him "are you finished yet?"

After a change of underwear, me with laughing, him not...we carried on.

One of the staff found out about the incident, so he promptly hid in an unused coffin. At 3am aii I saw was my mate running for the door screaming " I quit!"

The staff membe apparently knocked on the lid of the coffin shouting "Help! Let me out!"

All good fun... :rolleyes:

If you need somewhere to put your kit, put it in the embalming room, trust me, no-one will take it. :whistle:

If at first you don't succeed...don't try skydiving!

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I fitted out a funeral home a few years ago; trouble is, because of all the relatives visiting their departed,we had to work night shift. My mate was very nervous and the owner crept up behind him and shouted at him "are you finished yet?"

After a change of underwear, me with laughing, him not...we carried on.

One of the staff found out about the incident, so he promptly hid in an unused coffin. At 3am aii I saw was my mate running for the door screaming " I quit!"

The staff membe apparently knocked on the lid of the coffin shouting "Help! Let me out!"

All good fun... :rolleyes:

If you need somewhere to put your kit, put it in the embalming room, trust me, no-one will take it. :whistle:

i'd say a dead ringer

lol

regs

alan

Edited by arfur mo

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

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stretching the thread a bit, but i love a good practicle joke, on a union shop stewards course at the Esher Colledge facility, during the 3 day course we were told that past kings used the building's to have 'out of sight' relationships with there consorts, it had secret passageways to die for, the whole nine yards.

men being men we got into telling ghost stories after a long visit to the local pub. you can always tell the nervous one's who stay on 'to be men' but are absolutely scarred whitless.

there is was a generally unused wing which was reputed as being haunted, so playing on this we decided to visit it saying it was uncannily cold and quiet from an earlier visit we had done.

so we 'searched' several rooms and played up the cold feel aspect for the benifit of the nervous guys, then edged them to open a particular door, result as they openned it the curtains of the window flew just the other side flew into their face's, caused simply by the draught from the door but heart attacks all around.

i laughed myself sensless most of the night at the 'sissy's' reactions.

priceless!

regs

alan

Edited by arfur mo

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

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  • 8 months later...

A friend had to make several visits to one funeral parlour, and soon got on good terms with the staff.

On his last visit, he found the staff sat round a table playing cards. They asked if he wanted to join in, and pointed to a spare chair between two of them.

He sat down and the game started.

Each player had their turn and it became the turn of the guy who was sat next to my mate. He had been sat there with some cards in his hand, but had said nothing.

After a few seconds...my mate looked closely at him and realised the staff had dressed up a corpse and sat it at the table with some cards in its hands!

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A friend had to make several visits to one funeral parlour, and soon got on good terms with the staff.

On his last visit, he found the staff sat round a table playing cards. They asked if he wanted to join in, and pointed to a spare chair between two of them.

He sat down and the game started.

Each player had their turn and it became the turn of the guy who was sat next to my mate. He had been sat there with some cards in his hand, but had said nothing.

After a few seconds...my mate looked closely at him and realised the staff had dressed up a corpse and sat it at the table with some cards in its hands!

That is absolutley sick :X

"If you carry your childhood with you, you never become old. Why rush to end life when happiness is in the blissfulness of childhood innocence."

"We all die, the goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will."

07475071344

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Years ago I did some work in the local hospital morgue on the Access System.

From the day the system was installed they thought they had a ghost meddling with it with lots of banging, with doors locking and unlocking on their own...

Hospital Services had fitted the kit, and after some investigation I found the problem. One 2A PSU was running 3 Double mags @1A each. Obviously the doors were taking it in turn to lock and unlock. A big fat 5A PSU fixed it...

I can imagine it was quite a bit spooky! (did make me laugh though :P )

Worst but, apart form the guests, was the 70VAC across the Ceiling Grid and the PSU Earth. Oohh that hurts..

Hospital services didn't give a $h1t... :no:

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  • 4 months later...

Years ago I did some work in the local hospital morgue on the Access System.

From the day the system was installed they thought they had a ghost meddling with it with lots of banging, with doors locking and unlocking on their own...

Hospital Services had fitted the kit, and after some investigation I found the problem. One 2A PSU was running 3 Double mags @1A each. Obviously the doors were taking it in turn to lock and unlock. A big fat 5A PSU fixed it...

I can imagine it was quite a bit spooky! (did make me laugh though :P )

Worst but, apart form the guests, was the 70VAC across the Ceiling Grid and the PSU Earth. Oohh that hurts..

Hospital services didn't give a $h1t... :no:

[/quo

Before i started in the security industry, i was a refrigeration engineer, any way i get a call from a local funeral parlour , and could i go round and repair their fridge. Like the naive young fool that i was , iwas on site 30 mins later.

"its down here he said " and at that point i smell a rat .

"its not the body chiller is it " said i...... too late !

Funeral director tells me not to worry as they had only one guest at the moment , but they had taken him out of the chiller , so as to give me unfettered access,

at that point he buggered off back upstairs leaving me to it , he had only gone and left his guest on the trolley (covered up) next to the chillers compressor, and the fault just happened to be on that . Ispent the next ten minutes replacing blown starter relay , nearly crapping my pants in the certain knowledge that the said corpse was going to sit up.

NEVER NEVER NEVER AGAIN!!

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