arfur mo Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 to be posted on every works notice board -: 1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself. 2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough. 7. You only need two tools in life - WD- 40 and Duct Tape. If it does n't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. 8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem. If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norman Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 to has been posted on every works notice board -:yup, Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparky999 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Definitely Peter Robinson Freelance M:07889038650 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kka Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 reminds me, i need some more duck tape,,,,,,tee hee.. Kevin Scott. Owner of KK Alarms...... Installation .. Service .. Repair ...... Thoughout.. Northumberland and North Tyneside ..... Tel:01670 361948 (call diverted after 15 seconds) or 07947444114 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICEbear Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 to be posted on every works notice board -: 1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself. 2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough. 7. You only need two tools in life - WD- 40 and Duct Tape. If it does n't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. 8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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