to be posted on every works notice board -:

1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water

down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone

else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using

the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for

a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use

a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you

from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze

button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll

be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD- 40 and Duct Tape. If it does n't

move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the

duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

to has been posted on every works notice board -:

yup,

Definitely

reminds me, i need some more duck tape,,,,,,tee hee..

to be posted on every works notice board -:

1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water

down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone

else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using

the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for

a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use

a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you

from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze

button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll

be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD- 40 and Duct Tape. If it does n't

move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the

duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.