accident report

[jb-eye]

This is a bricklayer

[Guest]

I've seen that in a cartoon thou..

[Zak]

Hilarious

[JB_]

Me thinks someone watches too much 'Mythbusters' on Discovery. This was one myth that was proved could happen, if they basically tore half the support out of the barrel and held it together with a piece of cotton.

[Stealth]

Sounds like laurel and hardy

[Guest]

Jasper carrot used to read out the insurance claims on his show, some where hilarious because they were so daft.

[integrafire]

I actually heard this story when i was in australia in 1999, and it was used for safety briefings to make a point. Hilarious none the less

[hastings]

Think he might be one of our old service engineers !

[Smoke Screen]

Sorry fellers, but this is ripped almost word for word from an Irish song called: Murphy and the Bricks.

Have a look for it on the internet, it is a classic.

That said, the story and the song are as funny as each other.

[ian.cant]

That would be this song ere!

The Sick Note (Murphy and the Bricks)

Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of my plight

For at the time of writing, I'm not a pretty sight

Me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly gray

And I write this note to say why Murphy's not at work today.

While working on the 14th floor, some bricks I had to clear

But to toss them down from such a height was not a good idea

The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod

He said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in me hod.

Now shifting all those bricks by hand it was so very slow

So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below

But in me haste to do the job I was to blind to see

That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead

And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead

I shot up like a rocket, till my dismay I found

That half-way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Now the barrel broke me shoulder, as to the ground it sped

And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me head

I clung on tightly numb with shock, from this almighty blow

And the barrel spilled out half the bricks some 14 floors below.

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor

I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more

Still clinging tightly to the rope, me body wracked with pain

And half way down I met the bloody barrel once again.

Now the force of this collision half way down the office block

Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock

Still clinging tightly to the rope, I fell towards the ground

And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round.

I lay there groaning on the ground, I thought I'd past the worst

But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst

A shower of bricks rained down on me, I didn't have a hope

As I lay there bleeding on the ground I let go of the bloody rope.

Now, the barrel then being heavier, it started down once more

It landed right across me as I lay there on the floor

It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say

I hope you'll understand why Murphy's not at work today.