F.i.a

[Chorlton]

Got a Ferrari?

Not quite good enough at driving?

Are other boys faster than you in the wet?

Then you need:

Ferrari International Assistance (FIA)

This exclusive Ferrari only membership club has many benefits. Including:

Anti overtaking assurance

Been overtaken? Feel a bit silly? Don't worry, we'll rule out the other party even if it embarrassingly obvious that they're faster than you

Exclusive access to a secret 'second lane' in the pits Just to make things a little bit easier we've arranged a private second lane just for you

Guaranteed world championship?

Had a crash? Need to win the world championship? Don't worry just limp across the track and take off your nearest championship title contender - we'll do the rest

A bit strapped? Need extra cash?

Simply get one of your team to tell someone else how you make your cars.

We'll guarantee a $100,000,000 windfall so that the rich get richer!

Bits falling off your car? Looking a bit dangerous?

At Ferrari International Assistance we operate a 'blind eye' policy just for Ferrari drivers

Been a bit silly? Taken off another driver whilst following the safety car?

It's ok, as long as you didn't hurt yourself. I mean, who are Force India anyway? And how dare they be in front of you

A bit bored? Want some extra action?

With FIA plus you can take part in a number of additional membership activities including the popular 'kill your pit crew' game

Not sure when you might need us next?

Relax. Check out our track record. We're confident that we'll be able to make something up on the spot that will get you out of any pickle that you might find yourself in

Bonus offer!

*** Order our FIA Plus Pack and receive exclusive access to our Nazi style orgies ***

Ferrari International Assistance - Making it up as we go along for over 100 years

[james.wilson]

lol spot on

and when jean todt gets to sit on the fia then it will be worse.