A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th

birthday. She spends

$15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a

newspaper. Before

leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind

my asking, but

how old do you think I am?'

'About 32,' is the reply.'

'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks

the counter girl the

very same question.

The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'

The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops

in a drug store

on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter

to get some mints

and asks the clerk this burning question.

The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'

Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old

man waiting next

to her the same question.

He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going.

Although, when I was

young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman

was. It sounds

very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands

under your bra.

Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you

are.'

They wait in silence on the empty street until her

curiosity gets the

best of her. She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go

ahead.'

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins

to feel around

very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each

breast and he gently

pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and

rubs them

against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay,

okay....How old am

I?'

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes

his hands, and

says, 'Madam, you are 50.'

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was

incredible, how could you

tell?'

The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'

'I promise I won't' she says.

.............. 'I was behind you at McDonalds.'

So Arfur: Now we know where you go for lunch, you lucky boy.

So Arfur: Now we know where you go for lunch, you lucky boy.

true so very true

lunch? what is this strange concept?

lunch? what is this strange concept?

It's the excuse you use when the wife asks why you were drooling in Mcdonalds, I was dreaming of a Big Mac??? for lunch dear.