1) On a popular hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".

(Darn it, that's the only time I have to dry my hair)

2) On a bag of Crisps: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(A shoplifter's special)

3) On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".

(And that would be how?)

4) On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".

(But, it's just a suggestion)

5) On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".

(Well...duh, a bit late now)

6) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".

(And you thought?)

7) On packaging for a iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".

(But, wouldn't this save me more time?)

8) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents, if we could get those 5 year olds with head colds to stop driving those dumper trucks)

9) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".

(And...I'm taking this because?)

10) On some brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".

(As opposed to...what?)

11) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".

(Now, somebody help me out on this one!)

12) On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".

(Talk about a news flash!)

13) On an Airline's packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".

(Who'd have thought it?)

14) On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".

(I blame the parents for this one)

15) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".

(Was there a lot of this happening then?)

1) On a popular hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".

(Darn it, that's the only time I have to dry my hair)

2) On a bag of Crisps: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(A shoplifter's special)

3) On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".

(And that would be how?)

4) On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".

(But, it's just a suggestion)

5) On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".

(Well...duh, a bit late now)

6) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".

(And you thought?)

7) On packaging for a iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".

(But, wouldn't this save me more time?)

8) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents, if we could get those 5 year olds with head colds to stop driving those dumper trucks)

9) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".

(And...I'm taking this because?)

10) On some brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".

(As opposed to...what?)

11) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".

(Now, somebody help me out on this one!)

12) On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".

(Talk about a news flash!)

13) On an Airline's packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".

(Who'd have thought it?)

14) On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".

(I blame the parents for this one)

15) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".

(Was there a lot of this happening then?)

On a pair of boxer shorts: "May contain nuts"