Jump to content
Security Installer Community

So Called Commisioning Engineer !!


Guest Bodle - Tech

Recommended Posts

Guest Bodle - Tech

I was on a In house traing course last week, working on the Kentec Solo panel,

I am new to the company and don't know a soul.

There were three other engineers and the tutor, and me.

"Time for a bit of practical" said the tutor.

Setting up the demo panels. he pulled out a 1.5 mm flex with a Three pin plug and three crimped tags to connect to the primary input.

He passed this cable to the so called commisioning engineer of the firm who in turn passed the crimped ends to another engineer..

Without giving him 2 seconds, the bloody twit PLUGGED the Three pin IN !!! and BELTED his poor colleague. I ask YOU.

Its funny know but i think i would have punched him in the head at the time if it was me ????

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Cerberus NI
I was on a In house traing course last week, working on the Kentec Solo panel,

I am new to the company and don't know a soul.

There were three other engineers and the tutor, and me.

"Time for a bit of practical" said the tutor.

Setting up the demo panels. he pulled out a 1.5 mm flex with a Three pin plug and three crimped tags to connect to the primary input.

He passed this cable to the so called commisioning engineer of the firm who in turn passed the crimped ends to another engineer..

Without giving him 2 seconds, the bloody twit PLUGGED the Three pin IN !!! and BELTED his poor colleague. I ask YOU.

Its funny know but i think i would have punched him in the head at the time if it was me ????

Shocking (said in my best Sean Connery voice)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey , Very Funny B) Ive been on a few manufactures courses best one has got to be when the tutor plugged in this EMS Radio Panel and said start playing with it, so a few guys go up first and start messing about with the insides next thing i know all the sounders throughout the building are going off, the tutor came in and started quizzing everyone what happened, Turned out that when messing about inside one of they guys touched live and neutral shocking him to which he moved and hit a Call point with his arm then hit the floor, Tutor looked amazed as there was no callpoints for the main house system in this room, After many weird looks and rollockings from the Fire Brigade Turned out someone had programmed the call point on to the main house system by mistake LOL LOL lets just say he got a little ass :bruce_h4h:

All comments in this post are my own views and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer

Link to comment
Share on other sites

having installed a Tracam system ina sorting office, which was a right pia, the site was handed over to Royal Mail. so to do any final works we were oblidged to use the on site cherry picker. the rules stated we had to be trained on this unit so fair enough. one morning as arranged 8 people have to be trained.

i watch and notice the instructer, and that the unit was not going above 10 feet. now we had been used to the real big cherry pickers and this thing was a toy in comparrison.

my turn come's arround, and i listen to the speal attentively without a word. do a few manouvre's then ask inocently 'is it low on hydrolic oil at all?' no! came back a bit prissy reply - we have checked it out earlier during the initial instruction.

suddenly an evil force came over me (tee! hee!) and for some compelling reason i hit both up controls, we shot up past roof level with this 'instructer' hanging on for grim death - as i suspected he suffered vertigo in spades and went all colours. pleading to be taken down to ground level i said well i'm here to be trained by you, and took it for a spin fully extended (i actually love white nuckle rides) to this he was very very sick, wasted his scrounged free company breakfast all over the managers car.

priceless!

regs

alan

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

having installed a Tracam system ina sorting office, which was a right pia, the site was handed over to Royal Mail. so to do any final works we were oblidged to use the on site cherry picker. the rules stated we had to be trained on this unit so fair enough. one morning as arranged 8 people have to be trained.

i watch and notice the instructer, and that the unit was not going above 10 feet. now we had been used to the real big cherry pickers and this thing was a toy in comparrison.

my turn come's arround, and i listen to the speal attentively without a word. do a few manouvre's then ask inocently 'is it low on hydrolic oil at all?' no! came back a bit prissy reply - we have checked it out earlier during the initial instruction.

suddenly an evil force came over me (tee! hee!) and for some compelling reason i hit both up controls, we shot up past roof level with this 'instructer' hanging on for grim death - as i suspected he suffered vertigo in spades and went all colours. pleading to be taken down to ground level i said well i'm here to be trained by you, and took it for a spin fully extended (i actually love white nuckle rides) to this he was very very sick, wasted his scrounged free company breakfast all over the managers car.

priceless!

regs

alan

100 % Class :roflmao: Reminds me of my IPAF Training <Not saying anymore> :ninja:

All comments in this post are my own views and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer

Link to comment
Share on other sites

here a bit more of 'arfurs evil' mischief,

some years ago working in Crawly in a new office suit, this was a listed building and converted from a house. delayed due to flooring i visited Crawley Tools - Warning if your ever in the area DO NOT GO IN you wallet will be empty at an amazing rate and you card will be maxed.

i'd bought 2 off what then was the newly released Bosh 24 volt SDS and put them on charge, an hour later i can get on with my work, going like a train suddenly this berk from the power company strides in shouting the power is going off imediately - not allowing anyone time even though asked, to move their tools into daylight area's.

hmmmm! i think (and you lot know by now i like a wind up), so i go get one of my (then rare) new Bosche's and fit with 20mm 18" bit, wait for the lights to go and about another 30 seconds, then start drilling on hammer into engineering brick for maximum noise. i then stop deilling after a short burst or two and shout out "er jo!, (the forman) i thought you said all the power was turned off".

i could hear the wild scampering of skidding polished shoes and feet, and this dick rockets into the room like 'blakey' (from 'on the buses') on heat shouting 'i'm a senior inspector from the southern electrical company - i demmand to know who is using an illigal power source - i warn, you will be prosecuted for theft of electricity". now i did not expect so much success in the ruse, and the look on his chops was worth every penny of that drills cost when he realised he'd been 'arfured' good and proper!.

and Jo paid for breakfast the rest of the week - and still do work today for him.

priceless!

regs

alan

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Bodle - Tech
here a bit more of 'arfurs evil' mischief,

some years ago working in Crawly in a new office suit, this was a listed building and converted from a house. delayed due to flooring i visited Crawley Tools - Warning if your ever in the area DO NOT GO IN you wallet will be empty at an amazing rate and you card will be maxed.

i'd bought 2 off what then was the newly released Bosh 24 volt SDS and put them on charge, an hour later i can get on with my work, going like a train suddenly this berk from the power company strides in shouting the power is going off imediately - not allowing anyone time even though asked, to move their tools into daylight area's.

hmmmm! i think (and you lot know by now i like a wind up), so i go get one of my (then rare) new Bosche's and fit with 20mm 18" bit, wait for the lights to go and about another 30 seconds, then start drilling on hammer into engineering brick for maximum noise. i then stop deilling after a short burst or two and shout out "er jo!, (the forman) i thought you said all the power was turned off".

iand proper!. could hear the wild scampering of skidding polished shoes and feet, and this dick rockets into the room like 'blakey' (from 'on the buses') on heat shouting 'i'm a senior inspector from the southern electrical company - i demmand to know who is using an illigal power source - i warn, you will be prosecuted for theft of electricity". now i did not expect so much success in the ruse, and the look on his chops was worth every penny of that drills cost when he realised he'd been 'arfured' good

and Jo paid for breakfast the rest of the week - and still do work today for him.

priceless!

regs

alan

could hear the wild scampering of skidding polished shoes and feet, and this dick rockets into the room like 'blakey' (from 'on the buses') on heat shouting 'i'm a senior inspector from the southern electrical company - i demmand to know who is using an illigal power source - i warn, you will be prosecuted for theft of electricity". now i did not expect so much success in the ruse, and the look on his chops was worth every penny of that drills cost when he realised he'd been 'arfured' good

Quality

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i se some are enjoying this thread so here's anotherone

working on installing a video door entry system and pulling cables on my own i hung the legnths out of the top floor window which reached the ground simply using gravity to keep them straight while i fed them down a riser.

on seeing the dangling cables, the lady architect sent the forman, who sent the deputy foremen, who sent the carpenter, who sent the plumber, who then sent the sparks (i assume as an allied trade) to ask 'was i intending to run these cables down the outside of this building (listed), if so in tube or trunking?'. now i had serious trouble keeping a straight face at the 'chain of command' so i said i was using blue coloured cable tray (white building) stating some made up regs to embelish it.

took them days to unraval that one letters flying everywhere, and of course the cables were concealed internally by the time they had sorted it :rolleyes:

stupid questions provokes stupid answers, especially with me.

same site, now working on ground and basememt i pull the slack cable out to measure them in the light wells and along the street and and tape them together. a resident asked what i'm doing, i reply 'installing washing lines', - 'washing lines?' - 'yes washing lines as they are very cheap and of course envioremtally freindly, as they save energy and the space needed for a tumble dryer.

'this is a new building guidline in compressed housing to stop over heating in the dwellings caused by several people using the dryers at the same time!' totally straight faced. that caused another major shinnanigins

what some people will beleive :rolleyes: i'm as mad as a march hair and not adverse to saying the first thing that comes to mind :P

priceless

regs

alan

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Bodle - Tech
i se some are enjoying this thread so here's anotherone

working on installing a video door entry system and pulling cables on my own i hung the legnths out of the top floor window which reached the ground simply using gravity to keep them straight while i fed them down a riser.

on seeing the dangling cables, the lady architect sent the forman, who sent the deputy foremen, who sent the carpenter, who sent the plumber, who then sent the sparks (i assume as an allied trade) to ask 'was i intending to run these cables down the outside of this building (listed), if so in tube or trunking?'. now i had serious trouble keeping a straight face at the 'chain of command' so i said i was using blue coloured cable tray (white building) stating some made up regs to embelish it.

took them days to unraval that one letters flying everywhere, and of course the cables were concealed internally by the time they had sorted it :rolleyes:

stupid questions provokes stupid answers, especially with me.

same site, now working on ground and basememt i pull the slack cable out to measure them in the light wells and along the street and and tape them together. a resident asked what i'm doing, i reply 'installing washing lines', - 'washing lines?' - 'yes washing lines as they are very cheap and of course envioremtally freindly, as they save energy and the space needed for a tumble dryer.

'this is a new building guidline in compressed housing to stop over heating in the dwellings caused by several people using the dryers at the same time!' totally straight faced. that caused another major shinnanigins

what some people will beleive :rolleyes: i'm as mad as a march hair and not adverse to saying the first thing that comes to mind :P

priceless

regs

alan

I like the washing lines one, my missus looked at me weird when asking what i lol for, you would have to come from the trade to appreciate i suppose

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.