A Three Minute Management Course

>>> Lesson 1

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> A priest offered a Nun a lift.

>>>

>>> She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

>>>

>>> The priest nearly had an accident.

>>>

>>> After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

>>>

>>> The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129? '

>>>

>>> The priest removed his hand.

>>>

>>> But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

>>>

>>> The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129? '

>>>

>>> The priest apologised 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak. '

>>>

>>> Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.

>>>

>>> It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory. '

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Management lesson:

>>>

>>> If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great

>>>

>>> opportunity

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Lesson 2

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to

>>>

>>> lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

>>>

>>> They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of

>>>

>>> you just one wish. '

>>>

>>> Me first! Me first! ' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the

>>>

>>> Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world. '

>>> Puff! She's

>>>

>>> gone.

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Me next! Me next! ' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii,

>>>

>>> relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of

>>>

>>> Pina Coladas and the love of my life. ' Puff! He's gone.

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> 'OK, you're up, ' the Genie says to the manager.

>>>

>>> The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch. '

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Management lesson:

>>>

>>> Always let your boss have the first say

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Lesson 3

>>>

>>> An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

>>>

>>> A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you

>>>

>>> and do nothing? '

>>>

>>> The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not. '

>>>

>>> So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.

>>>

>>> All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Management lesson:

>>>

>>> To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Lesson 4

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to

>>>

>>> the top of that tree, ' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the

>>>

>>> energy. '

>>>

>>> Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings? '

>>> replied the bull.

>>>

>>> They're packed with nutrients. '

>>>

>>> The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him

>>>

>>> enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,

>>>

>>> after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

>>> Finally after

>>>

>>> a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

>>>

>>> He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Management lesson:

>>>

>>> //.B.W.F.// might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Lesson 5

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird

>>>

>>> froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying

>>>

>>> there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

>>>

>>> As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to

>>>

>>> realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

>>>

>>> He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate

>>>

>>> Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow

>>>

>>> dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Management lesson:

>>>

>>> Not everyone who XXXXX on you is your enemy.

>>>

>>> Not everyone who gets you out of XXXXX is your friend.

>>>

>>> And when you're in deep XXXX, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> This ends the 3-minute management

Edited September 30, 200718 yr by F C E
Please donot attempt to bypass the bad word filter