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Ladders on the roof


dave ferguson

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I remember going to do an annual maintenance at a job in N Wales in the middle of nowhere. It was the worst entrance ever. I came around the corner and decided I would park up the drive at the side which had a plastic type roof over it. Well not realising the height of my small van. The T brackets stuck up that extra foot or so, when straight through the strip light and defuser. Should of heard the noise I s*** myself. The woman came out screaming thats the 2nd time that happened. I got constant abuse in my ear for 1 hour. Had to ring office and tell them the bad news. The light was replaced and all smiles in the end. Will not be doing that again in a hurry!

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I remember going to do an annual maintenance at a job in N Wales in the middle of nowhere. It was the worst entrance ever. I came around the corner and decided I would park up the drive at the side which had a plastic type roof over it. Well not realising the height of my small van. The T brackets stuck up that extra foot or so, when straight through the strip light and defuser. Should of heard the noise I s*** myself. The woman came out screaming thats the 2nd time that happened. I got constant abuse in my ear for 1 hour. Had to ring office and tell them the bad news. The light was replaced and all smiles in the end. Will not be doing that again in a hurry!

I take my van shopping at times, if the missus has the car.

My ladder brakcets stick up too far, and donk the signs in the multi-storey! I love going in......Donk...donk...donk...donk as I drive around the one way system :gimme: I wonder how many of the dents are mine :whistle:

Email : martin@askthetrades.co.uk

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I got stuck at the entrance to the Skelmersdale centre when I forgot I had my steps clamped on top of my ladders! :(

Scraped ceiling, bent clamps and about 20mins trying to get back out the one way in the queue that had formed behind me. Start of a bad day that was :yes:

If you don't know......ask.

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I sort of had the opposite this summer. I had an unusually early finish, it was a nice day so i popped home picked up the wife and the dog and off we went to the beach in my Vivaro. Got to Seaton Sluice where there is a car park almost on the dunes, ideal for the dog. Bought an ice cream from the van in the corner, and off we go over the dunes to the sea for a swim etc.

Had a good time teasing the mutt into the sea with her ball, running around chasing it etc etc .

Its getting onto 17:30 so we decide its time to head home. Get back to the van dry off the dog, clean the sand off ourselves, jump in the van and pull away. I notice the ice cream vans gone and i also notice theres now a barrier across the entrance high enough for cars to get under but not my van with the ladders on top. Im f*****g raging as the barrier is padlocked and there no sign of local authority security or workers around to unlock it.

I was very tempted to drill the padlock or the barrier but i thought it would be easier to take the ladders off and try and slip under. Luckily i made it with mm's to spare. Apparently when the ice cream van goes at 17:00 they put the barrier up to stop trucks from parking there overnight. bit of a shitty trick to lock me in though i thought.

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I run the power for a catering exhibition every year in a leisure centre. Carpark has barriers, and they unpadlock these for the lorries to get in with the food deliveries.

One year, they couldnt find the keys and asked if we could cut the locks. I got my tall steps out (brand new!!), and used my trusty lump hammer to spring the crappy lock. Job done, barrier opened. Left my steps where they where, forgetting I had used them.

Went back an hour later after realising I was short of my steps. GONE!! Oh god. My boss will go insane!! He had just bought us all new taller steps, as he complained the ones we had where all too short!

Carried on working on our next job, when my boss turns up with a delivery. I unload it from his van, and he proudly annouces how he has 'aquired' a forth set of steps......he found them in the carpark, no one around, so he took them!!

I descretely stole them back the next day, and he was livid when he thought someone had stolen his 'aquired' set off him!!

I still LMAO when I think about how chuffed he was with himself when he had them in the back of his truck :)

Serves him right!

Email : martin@askthetrades.co.uk

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I run the power for a catering exhibition every year in a leisure centre. Carpark has barriers, and they unpadlock these for the lorries to get in with the food deliveries.

One year, they couldnt find the keys and asked if we could cut the locks. I got my tall steps out (brand new!!), and used my trusty lump hammer to spring the crappy lock. Job done, barrier opened. Left my steps where they where, forgetting I had used them.

Went back an hour later after realising I was short of my steps. GONE!! Oh god. My boss will go insane!! He had just bought us all new taller steps, as he complained the ones we had where all too short!

Carried on working on our next job, when my boss turns up with a delivery. I unload it from his van, and he proudly annouces how he has 'aquired' a forth set of steps......he found them in the carpark, no one around, so he took them!!

I descretely stole them back the next day, and he was livid when he thought someone had stolen his 'aquired' set off him!!

I still LMAO when I think about how chuffed he was with himself when he had them in the back of his truck :)

Serves him right!

This is why your a spark and not a security engineer Sparkies are fevin roben geezas that shunt get screened :whistle:

Jef

Customers!

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Guest IM_Alarms

I once came back to my van in Enfield town car park to find a market built around it!!!

There I was slap bang in the middle, luckily it was a mini-van and i had watched the Italian Job !!! :bruce_h4h:

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i got reported to the police as someone had walked into my ladders when they were on top of the van.

I had rag on the end,so they did not say much.

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I have had 2 'ladder-on-van' problems. first one, I went into local multi-storey, which had no notice about height restriction on it at all. Went slowly, watching the ends of the ladders. Made it all the way up the ramp and into the carpark, so started moving forwards towards empty space. Donk, PSSSSST. Took out a fire sprinkler. Whoops...

Second - was at a recreation park, parked in public carpark. Came back, and found height restriction had been placed, and there was no way my Renault Trafic was going to limbo under that. No-one around, so the 2foot bolt-cutters came out!!

D7

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  • 2 months later...

comming back from Oxford (heading for Essex) at very high speed on a nice straight 'A' road i hit a pheasant with the tripples on the roof - i have never seen so many feathers, total 'white out' in rear view mirror.

might have gone back for it - but overtime had ended ;)

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

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Going back a few years now I was travelling along the M1 in lane 3 (the 'fast' one) doing about 95 ish (OK I'm not proud) when I spotted something lying in my way about a mile ahead, it looked about the size of a crisp packet. As I got closer it looked like a carrier bag, closer still and it was furry looking!! too late I was committed to go over the top of it, I would clear it surely?? well those of you whom have had Mondeo estate's will know that anything heavier than a good packed lunch in the boot and the back hangs down like an old ladies butt. So the front did clear it then there was a bit of a rumble and an almighty 'bang' as the bloody thing took out my rear bumper, it was a friggin dog, not sure if it was already dead but it was now, there was a red furry mist behind me and I had to get the car steam cleaned to get rid of the burning smell from the exhaust. The bumper cost me in excess of

post-1124-1139911803_thumb.jpg

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.


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I once hit an owl on the M6 at about 90 mph at 3 in the morning out on call

Now thats a wake up call, it hit the windscreen and bounced through the ladders total mess of the ladders blood everywere.

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Now thats a wake up call, it hit the windscreen and bounced through the ladders total mess of the ladders blood everywere.

There's some pics somewhere of my ladders in a more red colour than they usually are, not sure what it was before I hit it at 80 odd, some sort of bird I think.

I had a fox on the A38 once run out and rip the front bumper off of my Astra whilst travelling at 85.

I had a bird fly out of a hedge and head straight for the windscreen at 6am the other morning whilst travelling through the back of Wales. Some pretty skilled panicking and swerving avoided that.

Maybe I'm getting luckier?

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I once hit an owl on the M6 at about 90 mph at 3 in the morning out on call

Hit a crow once at about 120mph on the M11 (years ago, soon after it opened, so totally empty). Straight into the passenger side windscreen of my little Dolomite. Didn't break anything, but made a hell of a mess. :ninja:

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120mph? I hope it was a 1850 sprint.

This is slowly turning into a 'who can pee the highest"

once rode into a bumble bee and it bashed into my crash helmat, thought I'd been shot :fear:

You need to relax more when driving....take off the helmet.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.


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Going back a few years now I was travelling along the M1 in lane 3 (the 'fast' one) doing about 95 ish (OK I'm not proud) when I spotted something lying in my way about a mile ahead, it looked about the size of a crisp packet. As I got closer it looked like a carrier bag, closer still and it was furry looking!! too late I was committed to go over the top of it, I would clear it surely?? well those of you whom have had Mondeo estate's will know that anything heavier than a good packed lunch in the boot and the back hangs down like an old ladies butt. So the front did clear it then there was a bit of a rumble and an almighty 'bang' as the bloody thing took out my rear bumper, it was a friggin dog, not sure if it was already dead but it was now, there was a red furry mist behind me and I had to get the car steam cleaned to get rid of the burning smell from the exhaust. The bumper cost me in excess of
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I once had a pigeon fly in through the open drivers window and fly straight out the open passenger window, I just sat there thinking wtf.

The opinions I express are mine and are usually correct!

(Except when I'm wrong)(which I'm not)

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No way ??

True.

I was at the traffic lights at the time.

The opinions I express are mine and are usually correct!

(Except when I'm wrong)(which I'm not)

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  • 1 month later...
Guest tones in kent

I was following a lorry along the M20 from Dover when something fell out the back of it. I had a matter of seconds to decide wether to swerve and possibly lose control, or carry on and run over the tumbling object in the road.

Luckily I made the right decision and flattend the ileagal immigrant. :whistle:

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Nice to see youve joined the community Tones.

The opinions I express are mine and are usually correct!

(Except when I'm wrong)(which I'm not)

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