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Whats The Daftest/funniest Thing Your Apprentice Has Done


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We were putting up a 8m WEC column the other day and I had asked my apprentice to put the Redwalls on.

So just having finished putting a 20mm hole in the side of the column (hole still burning hot)

he decided it would be a good idea to to stick his little finger past the knuckle, in the hole to see if he could get the

cable, only to result in him realising the hole was still hot, panicking and yanking his hand away,

at this point I fell to the floor laughing at his misfortune after a few intensely funny minuets went to his rescue and eased his now burnt a bloody finger out. needless to say he won't live that one down for a while

Never Teach Your Apprentice Everything You Know

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Only yesterday my wonderful (and usually bright) apprentice took a 25mm x 1m sds bit which had just come out of the wall and lent on it. I usually ignore screams but the smell of burning flesh got my attention. Now got a very pretty perfect impression of the bit right across his forearm (sort of short diagonal stripes). Ouch.

Several years ago I sent an apprentice to the van to get some panel batteries, but because there were some dead ones kicking around I asked him to check the voltage. I should explain at this point that we're fire, not intruder. After approx 10 mins he comes back to say there's no voltage at all. On any of the batteries. So we go through (again) how to use a multimeter, what setting it's on and so on. He's adamant he's right. Another 10 minutes go by and he returns again to say that none of the batteries have any voltage. Anyone worked it out yet? We'd just been through how to take battery readings on a service. When I get him to bring me the batts and show me what he's doing, he's reading them in pairs in series (as per a fire alarm panel) but with no interconnect lead. Hey presto no volts. Bless.

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  • 2 weeks later...
That's not a very funny one :rolleyes: I prefer the drill bit tatoo one from ee8mjb, LOL !

Hey were not all bad.

Ive done some silly things i suppose, forgot to run cables on first fixes, putting bells to high up and then not being able to get the lid on.

This was when i tried to do everything as quick as possible. I tend to think things through now after a few rollockings.

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While working at a new supermarket last week I had just finished the standalone ATM room so it needed tiding up.

I gave him the key's to get back in and still remember my last word's to him ' keep the key's on you and don't leave them in there'

10 min's later I get a call of him saying that he left them in there and closed the door, I thought he was winding me up.

It cost me

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a lad on work experience was charged to change the batteries in a clients smoke detectors, so i go about my business, then looked out the landing window to see him dropping his strides then underpants and jumping up and down.

when i got to him the reason was he had removed the old PP3's but some had some juice left, he dropped them into his pocket, which then shorted out on his pocket change making for some very hot nuts.

==========

a client of mine has a son who's a tree surgeon, his trainee had to tie off the rope before the sirgeon cut of the tre limb, so he shouts dowm "is it tied off?" - "yes" so he cuts the limb and obseves the trainee ascending into the tree - he had tied the rope to himself

=========

on installation for chubbs in my younger days, i needed running some 1/2" galve, told my trainee to make a hole big enough to take an elbow, excessive time goes by so i go to check up. to find he had cut a hole big enough for his elbow to be put through with his arm folded :rolleyes:

have never used so much polly filler in my life :)

regs

alan

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

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a lad on work experience was charged to change the batteries in a clients smoke detectors, so i go about my business, then looked out the landing window to see him dropping his strides then underpants and jumping up and down.

when i got to him the reason was he had removed the old PP3's but some had some juice left, he dropped them into his pocket, which then shorted out on his pocket change making for some very hot nuts.

:D:D

on installation for chubbs in my younger days, i needed running some 1/2" galve, told my trainee to make a hole big enough to take an elbow, excessive time goes by so i go to check up. to find he had cut a hole big enough for his elbow to be put through with his arm folded

:lol::lol::lol:

I LOVE IT, Can't wait till Tuesday I'm gona drop some 9v's in my apprentice's pocket. :ninja: Styley

Never Teach Your Apprentice Everything You Know

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  • 2 months later...

I was working with someone that I usually do PJ's with. He was up the ladder fitting up the external sounder - all he had to do was drill the holes and wire it up, I had even marked the wall so that I was sure it was going to be straight.

After 20 mins, I needed the drill, but he was still up the ladder with the drill. I told him to come down. He said the wall was really difficult to drill.

The masonry drill was now 'pointed' and completely burnt out. I asked him where he got his masonry drills and found out he had bought them from a DIY shop!

I gave him one of my drill bits - I went to select the drill into reverse to eject the pointed drill bit from the drill, but it was already in reverse! This engineer had been up the ladder for 20 minutes with the drill going backwards!! :no:

Surely the smoke and glow from the end of the drill would have been a give away!? Nope, just keep going!

Matt

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  • 1 year later...

At Lander Alarms in Cambridge we had a trainee storeman whom i asked to get me in some copper pins for a CC Wire door panel. He asked, how many do you need? I said about 500 would keep me going for a good while.

Anyhow I had a call a few days later, the panel pins were in.

He directed me to a loaded pallet on the floor and said there you go. He had only ordered 500 Kilograms of copper panel pins! There was probably about 2 million pins in that lot, poor ol Eddy. I nearly wet myself with laughter apparently the delivery lorry had to be a special with a fork lift truck on the back.

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I once ordered 5,000 staples. The trainee at Gardners said they would have to order them. She thought I wanted 5,000 boxes of them. Luckily someone experienced spotted it and phoned me to verify the correct quantity.

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PM me for access to the SSAIB members discussion area.

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Young know it all on my old firm drills a 20mm hole in a box, holding box between feet like I do....

Somehow drills out the side of the box, hole cutter goes through new shiny leather boots and mangles the top of his foot!

He never learnt, he's still a cocky little twerp. :oops:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Life is like a box of chocolates, some bugger always gets the nice ones!

My Amateur Radio Forum

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I had a trainee who wanted to see how powerful the staple gun was ... so he fired a staple into his hand..... and yes, it was powerful. I had to pull it out with a pair of pliers. Loads of blood.

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  • 3 months later...

Ah, the old days.

Does anyone recall the old meggers you used to have to wind up first? Let 'em go then do your insulation test?

This was in the days before Health and Safety existed.

We used to run monthly competitions on site for the new apprantices, and award the best dance prize.

Essentially, we'd strip off the probe, clamp the croc clip to the bottom of the steps they were on, whizz it off and watch them dance.

None of them ever picked up an uninsulated probe after that for some reason.........

:whistle:

Bill.

Bill

Accord Fire & Security Services Ltd.

www.accordfire.co.uk ~ TEL: 0845 474 5839

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Guest old-hand

In my other guise as a locksmith a m8 borrowed my chisels and fitted a lock as I was fitting some grilles/gates. I heard a thump /shout/cry he had not realised I kept mine sharper than a diamond on heat and went thru the side of the door, one free set of lockguards sorted that out.

Numpty in shop decided to test a stun gun (yes they were legal to sell then) on himself, what a silly dance ensued.......................

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  • 3 weeks later...

When I did installs back in the 90's, I had two apprentices. The boss was a REAL money grabbing *"%^*"%^"%^ so was insisting that these two 'green' engineers go out together do do installs on their own to make extra cash while I worked on others with another apprentice. Well, their first day out together - I got a call from the boss at about 10am saying that they'd both been kicked out of a house they were working in as the customer had come back unexpectedly to find one in the shower (singing) and the other had the customer's fish fingers under the grill (with their bread buttered ready) and was firing staples at their canaries!

One of the said apprentices (before all this happened) was working with me on a house install. Just a basic Logic 4 panel - 1 day job etc... I sent him around the back of the house with a dummy box, cordless drill, screws and plugs etc and a ladder. After about ten minutes, I could hear drilling but it sounded quite faint.... Odd... I thought, but didn't think anything of it. Next minute, there is a police car screaming up the street and from the landing window, I could see it stop in the back street with two officers running past the house I was in and to the house two along. I leaned round and spotted my ladders with him up the ladder putting the dummy box on the wall... I opened the window and shouted out. He did a double-take as he realised what he'd done. I went to explain to the police (that had been called by the frightened old lady in the house!) what had happened. He never lived that one down. I've still no idea to this day why he did that. He had to walk round the back street as it was a row of terraces but he didn't even think to count the number of houses before starting putting the box up! Hehe!

Another guy that I worked with phoned me up in a panic with a redcare system. He'd been on site for about 3 hours trying to work out why pin 4 was staying open... :rolleyes:

I will add more when I think of them - there will be lots!

Kate C

x

Oh, two more!

Got a call from a brand new customer to say that the SAB was going off outside with the system not set. He also said that it looked like the box had 'sagged' a bit. I went out there to find that the engineer had fitted the live box right above the central heating boiler vent. The box had completely melted down onto it. Yes, my boss was a money grabber and made us fit polyprop live boxes... Idiot... Still in the wrong place if it had been polycarb but it might have held out a tad longer! Hehe!

Another time I got a call from a REALLY angry customer to say that they wanted an engineer onsite right NOW to rectify something the installation engineers had done (another two useless lads the boss had taken on) with a brand new install. When I got there, the customer took me upstairs to the front bedroom where I couldn't believe my eyes! The panel was in the hall directly under the little front bedroom so the install lads had upended the bed, pulled all the carpet back, taken all the boards up and unfortunately.... forgotten to put it all back to normal again.... So, that was my job for the next two hours! I was less than happy!

More to come!

Kate C

x

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  • 1 year later...

Was doing a intruder install when I went with the client to the rear of the property to agree the position of the dummy bell box.

We both looked up with the sun shining on the blind in the bathroom "blind down" which created a shadow of the trainee pleasuring himself!

We both looked at each other went red faced and the client walked off.

Never got a complaint he was a lucky boy and will never live that one down!!!

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We both looked up with the sun shining on the blind in the bathroom "blind down" which created a shadow of the trainee pleasuring himself!

I always said job was a load of toss....

Mr? Veritas God

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what a wan*er

The opinions I express are mine and are usually correct!

(Except when I'm wrong)(which I'm not)

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  • 3 weeks later...

Had a Trainee with us once when doing pole mounted cameras, instead of waiting for the pole to be lowered he puts a ladder up against it & climbs up. First I knew about it was the scream "Andy Help" & turn to see him hanging on to the camera bracket for grim death cos the ladder fell away, what a pratt.

Customers Love us, Intruders Hate us.

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