Matt Ward

Things found in airing cupboards

150 posts in this topic

Ok, I'm installing an endstation in an airing cupboard and I need to clear some stuff out so I can drill at ease without worrying about dust damaging anything.

Normally, I would either ask the customer to empty it, or if it was just a few shirts I would put them on the nearest bed.

I agreed the position of the endstation with the customer to be in the airing cupboard. There was a 13amp socket backing onto it that would be perfect to wire the spur into.

Problem is, when I opened the airing cupboard there was a whole pile of underwear on the shelf. So, instead of embarrassing the customer who was aware I had already opened the cupboard door and asking her to move them, I pushed them to the back of the cupboard and pretend that I never noticed them.

Later the customer went nuts because she was "totally embarressed" and "I should have never been in there to start with!". Uhhh, we discussed this before...? She was a stuckup old cow!

Everytime I visited there for a maintenance visit, she purposely used only the bare minimum words (Eg, "hello its in there" then walked away! Funny enough the cupboard was empty this time!). Stuck up cow!

Anyone else any "customer's underwear" stories!?

Matt

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Oh yeah, I forgot about the photos!

Was installing this alarm in a pub in Reading. It was discusting upstairs in the flat...

Plates laying around that had not been moved for days with dried baked beans and other remains on them, mugs of undrunk tea with a thick "skin" on them (if you moved the mug, the contents didn't move!).

The whole upstairs was horrible to work in. The carpets.....vaccum cleaner? what vaccum cleaner?

Well, in the airing cupboard myself and a mate were moving some bedsheets from the shelves so we could clip a cable in there. From one of the shelves, a couple of photos fell down.

One of them was the owner of the pub, no clothes, holding his (there's no easy way of putting this!) large boner! The other photo was the landlady dressed in her large knickers holding out her large stomach!! She wasn't the thinnest of girls! It was discusting!

Was difficult to look at either of them after seeing those photos!

Glad to get out of there!

Matt

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Found

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Back in the early eighties when video shops were all the rage, I did a conversion of a corner sweetshop into a video store.

Evidently the husband of the shop owner had passed away 15 years prior and she had just shut the doors and lived in the back until she died. The shop was like a BBC set.

The new shop owner was a Greek entrepreneur who didn't even have time to take all the cards out of the cigarette packs etc. and just skipped the lot. We were rewiring the place so I had my partner running cables while I tackled the mains board. He shoved a cable through to reach the board, so I pulled the lino back to reveal four cut boards just in an ideal place. I lifted them and proceeded to pull a large number of manky bottles and cans out of the hole before finally pulling out THREE GUNS!!! They were all old and rusty but nevertheless a Luger and two revolvers.

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Back in the early eighties when video shops were all the rage, I did a conversion of a corner sweetshop into a video store.

Evidently the husband of the shop owner had passed away 15 years prior and she had just shut the doors and lived in the back until she died. The shop was like a BBC set.

The new shop owner was a Greek entrepreneur who didn't even have time to take all the cards out of the cigarette packs etc. and just skipped the lot. We were rewiring the place so I had my partner running cables while I tackled the mains board. He shoved a cable through to reach the board, so I pulled the lino back to reveal four cut boards just in an ideal place. I lifted them and proceeded to pull a large number of manky bottles and cans out of the hole before finally pulling out THREE GUNS!!! They were all old and rusty but nevertheless a Luger and two revolvers.

FECK ! how much did you get for them ????

what do they go under on ebay ?

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Doing an install for an old lady in Cornwall and was taking some cable around the loft of the house. I noticed a small trap door at one end of the loft and opened it up to find a small additional loft area with a skylight - immediately under the skylight was a healthy looking cannabis plant!

Surprised me to think of the old lady rolling a joint as a cannabis user but the thought of her regularly crawling around the loft to water and care for the plant was even more amusing!

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Drugs and guns, guns and drugs... I try to use my discretion (I'm an alarm guy, after all, and I'm supposed to be closed-mouthed), but this one time I found several machine guns and a LARGE quantity of ammunition. I made some notifications to the proper people... after the check cleared.

I dread having to move beds, because I've found... ahhh... toys.... on several occasions.

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pornos, mags, home made vids & pics oh yes and not forgetting toys......

and all in the same house

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pornos, mags, home made vids & pics oh yes and not forgetting toys......

and all in the same house

Are you sure??

I would have thought bellman would have fitted his own security system. :rolleyes:

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Are you sure??

I would have thought bellman would have fitted his own security system. :rolleyes:

:lol::roflmao::lol:

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:oops:

I thought our lass had moved all those :hmm:

While we're on the subject, i've come across several items that customers have "mislaid" including a 2 foot long double ended "toy", a few whips, the usual collections of pr0n and illicit drugs (teenage lads bedrooms usually) and several bats/sticks and knives.

Regards

Bellman

Edited by bellman
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sounds to me that i should become a "securitas aroundio" man who exploits all the treasures of private houses..

however there is a private "first aid service" (nurses who are on call to help elder people in case they push their "health emergency"-button) just next to us and luckily their labour is chancing all the time...

lucky me.. ;)

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a few whips, the usual collections of pr0n and illicit drugs (teenage lads bedrooms usually) and several bats/sticks and knives.

Ah, reminds me of home............

/drifty off dreamy harpy music

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How did it taste Chris?

There's always one. :rolleyes:

(I can't write anything here, I'm meant to be setting an example).

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home made vids

:hmm: you watched them then! :P

i've come across several items that customers have "mislaid"

:cry: and you're no better

Hope you cleaned it up :whistle:

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:hmm: you watched them then! :P

LOL

customer was out as well

didn't really have time lol

was a fair stack of vids tho :rolleyes:

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:cry: and you're no better

Hope you cleaned it up :whistle:

Cheeky :huh: Anyway, It's better if you rub it well in Bri :whistle:

Anyway, moving swiftly on........

Regards

Bellman

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found a stash of grass which filled a carrier bag.

porn mags(never missed a few)

Toys.etc

been in some skanky flats with soiled knickers on the floor and used panty liners......

dead cat

dog sh1t all over

fleas

i could go on

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Found a very large ladies toy all sticky at the end with carpet fluff, pubes etc stuck on it.

Had lots of fun trying to wave it in the YTS lads face.

Edited by whistle
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My tuna butties... LOL

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What did it taste like?

If you're keen to find out (which it would appear you are :whistle:)I know a website that will send you out the items you require, second user. :)

Edited by Lurch
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You have too much free time Stuart get back to work!

Agreed

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Righto, I get the message.

Laughs at Stu from the back of the class :P

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